


Circle of Life

by Callirus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders' Era, Minor Violence, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callirus/pseuds/Callirus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve months in the life of the Blacks. Everyone has a story, from the most celebrated members of the family to the most shamed outcasts. And even in the darkest of times, they all find something to hold on to. Sirius begins his rebellion. Bellatrix strives to please Voldemort. Regulus is afraid. Andromeda is meeting Ted Tonks in secret. </p>
<p>It only takes twelve months for them to fall apart. And they'll never be the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circle of Life

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Everything you recognise belongs to J. K. Rowling._

_A/N: Pettigrew is not mentioned in this story, despite the frequent appearances of the Marauders._

I - The First Dinner Party

II - Sirius's Sorting

III - Andromeda and Ted

IV - Remus's Secret

V - Bellatrix's Punishment

VI - Regulus's Loyalties

VII - The Potters

VIII - The Duel

IX - Leaving

X - The New Lestrange Heir

XI - One Last Chance

XII - The Second Dinner Party

 

_ August _

"Aren't you excited, Sirius?" said Walburga happily. "Just next month, you'll become a little Slytherin."

Sirius stared at the table, his fists clenching under the embroidered tablecloth. His jaw tightened as he tried to block out the question.

Alphard slowly lowered his fork, regarding his nephew with curiosity and suspicion. It was not unlike Sirius to ignore his parents, but something in the way he had clenched his fist under the napery and refused to look up from the flawlessly polished table made Alphard cringe. He knew his sister well enough to know that she did not take kindly to being ignored by her heir, especially when the entire family was invited for those blasted dinner parties. She firmly believed that dinner parties were made to flaunt power and authority to relatives. Obviously, being ignored did not show off any authority.

“Sirius Black, you will not ignore me,” said Walburga, as predicted by her brother, in a deceptively calm voice. “I expect you to bring pride to the family. You will not embarrass us, do you understand?”

“Yes, mother,” said Sirius through gritted teeth, anger coursing through him.

He was sick of their supremacist views, of their narrow-minded ramblings, of their old-fashioned mannerisms. He would never bring _pride_ to the House of Black, for it was non-existent within the walls of 12 Grimmauld Place. There had never been any pride, only manipulation and hatred hidden skilfully behind masks of loyalty and obedience.

Regulus stared at his brother in utter amazement. It made no sense to him. Of course Sirius should want to make Mother and Father proud. It was what he and Regulus _had_ to do. If they didn’t bring honour to the House of Black, who would? And to think, Sirius would inherit the title of Lord Black. He couldn’t even answer the most obvious of questions!

Regulus pushed the shameful thoughts away. Sirius was his brother and he loved him. Sirius had been the one to hold him when he had nightmares, the one to comfort him when Walburga yelled and to make him laugh when he was upset. Thinking Sirius was unworthy of the name of Black was a filthy, treacherous thought.

“Whom will you befriend, Sirius?” asked Orion forcefully, testing his son.

“Only those worthy of the clean, noble Black blood, father. I will keep away from filthy Mug – Mudbloods and unworthy blood traitors,” said Sirius, distaste lacing his every word.

Alphard smirked at the slight mocking tone in his nephew’s voice. He doubted his sister would notice it. She was too busy barking orders at Kreacher. Alphard caught Andromeda’s eye. She smiled slightly at him, casting a quick glance toward Sirius’s reddening face. Sirius would not last long in the Black family with his lack of self-control. Alphard was already counting down the days.

Andromeda had always liked Sirius the most. He was witty, rebellious and loyal. He was everything he had been taught to hate – just and open-minded. He had been the only one she had trusted with her shameful secret. She, Andromeda Black, aristocratic pure-blood of the Noble House of Black was seeing a Muggleborn. And not just any Muggleborn. She was seeing a poor farmer’s son, whose number of children nearly outnumbered his number of animals. And she was doing so secretly. Afraid that her sister would suddenly appear out of nowhere and jump up on her. Afraid that her parents would find out about their secret relationship and hurt her and her dear Teddy.

But someone _had_ found out. Sirius. He had sworn to keep it a secret and given her his infamous wicked grin. That had been the day he had stopped using the word ‘Mudblood.’ He had once used the term ‘Muggleborns’ in his father’s presence instead. Orion had harshly reprimanded him and sent a stinging hex his way. Sirius had learnt to watch his tongue after that.

Regulus sighed as the dinner seemed to go on and on, never coming to an end. He just wanted to go upstairs with Sirius and play. He mentally berated himself for the thought. If his parents said that he had to stay at the table, then so be it. They knew best, didn’t they? That’s what Narcissa had always said. And that’s what Regulus wanted to do. He wanted to make his parents proud.

_ September _

Regulus took advantage of the moment. His parents were looking away. Without a second thought, Regulus hugged his brother tightly. Sirius was leaving. His cousins had all gone and now his brother was leaving as well. Regulus would remain truly alone.

Sirius hugged him back, smiling softly. “I’ll be back for Christmas, Reggie. I’ll be alright. Try not to get in trouble with mother and father. Uncle Alphard will be there with you, too. You’ll never be alone.”

“Will – will you write?” asked Regulus, sniffling slightly.

“Of course I will, Reggie. Do you think I’ll forget about you just because I’m going to Hogwarts?”

Regulus reluctantly pulled away, knowing his parents would scold him for showing affection and in public no less. Hugging was forbidden in the House of Black. It showed affection and affection was weakness. And Blacks were never weak.

Sirius picked up his trunk and turned around. “I’ll miss you, Reggie,” he said quietly.

Regulus felt his throat constrict. He remained silent. Sirius took off. Neither Orion, nor Walburga offered a parting word or a goodbye. They both stood there stonily. Finally, Orion put his heavy hand on Regulus’s shoulder and they Disapparated.

But Sirius’s adventures were only beginning. A boy with messy hair and hazel eyes opened the compartment door. “Hey,” he said. “Can I sit here?”

Sirius nodded. “What’s your name?”

“James,” said the boy proudly, puffing out his chest slightly. “James Potter.”

“I’m Sirius,” said he, a smile creeping up on his face.

His mother would be so angry when she found out he had befriended a blood traitor! For Potters were the biggest blood traitors in Britain, right with the Prewetts and the McKinnons.

“What’s your surname?” asked James.

“I – uh,” stammered Sirius, blushing.

James would hate him if he said his name was _Black_!

“I can’t tell you,” he said finally.

James frowned, but didn’t press him. They discussed all sorts of things, such as pranks and Hogwarts Houses (both boys firmly believed that Gryffindor was by far the best house), until a half-blood boy by the name of Remus Lupin came in.

Remus was a sweet, shy boy who had his nose buried in a book the entire way to Hogsmeade. He reminded Sirius of a Muggle he had secretly befriended years ago.

Finally, it seemed like the time of the dreaded Sorting had come.

“Black, Sirius,” called McGonagall.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw a short, balding man with gooseberry green eyes smirk. Sirius walked to the stool with his head high, trying to mask his fear. His legs were shaking and he was sweating.

McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head. For a terrible moment, the Hat considered Slytherin. Sirius closed his eyes, begging it for a different house. Finally, the decision was made.

“GRYFFINDOR!” yelled the Hat, the one word that would change Sirius’s life echoing through the Great Hall.

Silence reigned. Every head in the Great Hall turned to stare at him. Sirius felt his nervousness return. Not a sound was heard when he silently took the Hat off and handed it to McGonagall, who was too shocked to speak.

“TRAITOR!” screamed Bellatrix, banging her goblet on the table.

Finally, the Hall seemed to break out of its trance. The Gryffindors rose and applauded him, cheering and chanting. The other houses clapped as well, but Sirius’s favourite moment was seeing the pride on Andromeda’s face. Because it made him realise that everything would be okay. Even if he became an outcast, she would be with him.

But Sirius’s optimism was short-lived. His first day at Hogwarts started in the worst way possible – Walburga’s voice howling at him.

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK, HOW DARE YOU EMBARASS THE FAMILY LIKE THAT? HAVE YOU NO SHAME, LOWLIFE BLOOD TRAITOR?! FILTHY CHILD, YOU BETRAYED YOUR FAMILY! SHAME OF MY FLESH! HOW DARE YOU BECOME A FILTHY GRYFFINDOR?! STAIN OF DISHONOUR, DIRTYING THE NAME OF BLACK! THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY, SIRIUS!”

Silence fell upon the Great Hall again. No one had ever got a Howler that early, and never because of being Sorted in a house other than that of their parents. But Sirius only smiled and kept talking with James, who was doing his best to take his mind off the Howler. Because no matter how much Sirius tried to deny it, it hurt. She was his mother, the only person who he was _sure_ would care for him, and she hated him.

McGonagall told him to report to her if anything happened at ‘home,’ as she had called it, but Sirius only thanked her politely. His mother would literally kill him with no hesitation whatsoever if he dared speak a word of the consequences to anyone.

And the month of September flew by. Sirius got Howlers every day, but he didn’t care at all. Andromeda would comfort him after each one of them and assure him she would always stand by him.

And Sirius felt safe.

_ October _

Andromeda was sitting behind the Whomping Willow with Ted Tonks, her head against his chest. The air was growing cold and the leaves were falling. It was warm, for an autumn day and Andromeda was enjoying the thrill of sneaking out to meet Ted.

He ran his large hand through her curly, dark hair, smiling softly. They had only started seeing each other two months ago and Andromeda could not ignore the guilt she felt for the way she had treated him.

“Teddy?” she said softly.

He looked down at her, his expression morphing into one of curiosity.

“I-I’m sorry... For the way I used to... treat you...”

Ted smiled. “It’s alright, Meda, I know you are, but I didn’t mind then and I certainly don’t mind now. You’ve already apologised a hundred times.”

“But Ted,” continued Andromeda. “I used to call you,” she lowered her voice. “I used to call you a _Mudblood_.”

Ted grimaced slightly. “I know,” he said again. “But you didn’t know it was offensive. You just repeated everything your parents told you. Besides, it’s just a word.”

“It’s not just a word,” said Andromeda hollowly. “It’s an entire belief, an entire attitude. It’s the very thought that magical people are better than non-magical ones. It’s the reason this entire war is starting. The murders we read about in the Prophet, Ted... They’re not... I mean, that’s why they happen. This Lord Voldemort, as he calls himself, he’s only ever killed Muggles and blood traitors.”

“Lord Voldemort?” said Ted. “That’s the psycho wizard the Prophet’s been writing about since July. He’s barking mad, it doesn’t count!”

July. That’s when the first murder had happened. That’s when Bellatrix went mad with lust for ‘Lord Voldemort.’ That’s when the Blacks decided all of their children would join this self-proclaimed Lord.

“It’s fine, Meda, really,” said Ted. “We’ll get through this. I’m turning seventeen next week. I’ll be of age and I’ll be able to do magic.”

“You’ll be a target, Ted. A Muggleborn like you... Didn’t you hear about the murder last week?”

“Of course I did,” he said. “But that’s never going to happen to us, Meda. Never. I promise.”

“Yeah,” said Andromeda distractedly. “We’ll be fine...”

Ted smiled warmly, his brown eyes meeting hers. “And next month, when you turn seventeen, we can really fight in the war.”

Andromeda hummed. She had always wanted to be a Healer. Ted had said he wanted a Muggle job, something to remind him of home. Perhaps Andromeda could take care of the injured if she got the job at St Mungo’s...

Maybe, even if it was too early to think about that, she and Ted could get married after seventh year.

Ted, on the other hand, was having entirely different thoughts. How was it possible that someone who looked so much like Bellatrix Black could be so pure and beautiful? Ted had seen the way Andromeda had held her cousin after the incidents with the Howlers. He had seen the way she had comforted a second year boy after Bellatrix had cursed him. Was it possible that two people who looked identical on the outside could be perfect opposites on the inside?

Days passed and Ted’s birthday came and went, leaving him a mature wizard. It gave him a little comfort, knowing he could at least protect his friends and family if anything happened. Or at least he hoped to. 

November was nearing. Snow fell, covering the grounds of Hogwarts. The month of October had already gone by.

_ November _

“Say, Sirius, mate, are you going home for the holidays?” asked James.

Sirius shrugged apathetically. “I don’t have a choice.”

James looked helplessly over at Remus.

“The holiday’s two weeks long. Maybe you can both come over to Potter Manor the second one.”

Sirius’s lips twitched. “You don’t have to, mate. I just want to stay here for Christmas. I-I don’t want to go back there, James,” he mumbled quietly, knowing it was safe to admit his fears in the safety of his dormitory.

Jams slung an arm around his shoulders. “Just tell McGonagall. She can help you, right?”

Sirius shrugged again.  “There’s still nearly forty days to the holidays. We’ll think about it some other time. I’m going to bed now.”

James and Remus looked at each other. They both shrugged and went to bed, following their friend’s example. James knew Sirius didn’t want to talk about it and he was willing to never mention the Blacks again. Sirius would tell them when he was ready.

The next day, Remus looked like he hadn’t slept at all.

“Remy, you alright?” asked Sirius concernedly.

“I-I just received news from my mother. My grandmother died yesterday. The funeral will be held tomorrow.” said Remus.

James and Sirius both raised their eyebrows.

“Remy, mate, how many grandmother do you have?” said James. “Not to be insensitive here, but haven’t three of them died already?”

Remus swallowed thickly. Sirius glanced at James.

“And you always look like hell when you leave,” said Sirius. “And you come back with scars and bruises.”

“Remus, are you sure you aren’t sick or something?” said James.

Remus shook his head. “We went over this in October. I’m perfectly healthy.”

Without another word, he left the dormitory. Sirius and James looked at each other.

“Funny how something occurs every month,” muttered James.

Sirius’s eyes widened as he realised what Remus was hiding. Monthly absences... Scars and bruises after coming back... Always had excuses for his disappearances... Shied away from silver goblets...  Unnaturally pale...

“James,” he said hoarsely. “When’s the full moon this month?”

James flipped through the moon phase calendar he had been required to make for Astronomy class. “Uh... Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” repeated Sirius, stressing the word.

“Yeah, wh—,” James paled, catching onto his friend. “We have to tell him we know,” he said urgently.

“What, _now_?” said Sirius.

“Now, you idiot!” said James, rushing out of the dorm.

Sirius followed him outside. Remus was nowhere to be seen. The two boys checked the library, the Charms, History, DADA and Transfiguration classrooms, the Quidditch Pitch, the Great Hall and even the Black Lake.

That night, when Remus returned to the Common Room, Sirius and James were there to drag him to the dormitories.

“You lied to us!” said Sirius indignantly, grabbing him by the forearm.

James mimicked the motion. Remus started struggling, trying to get away.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “I never lied to you!”

“Werewolf,” spat James.

Remus suddenly froze. “I-I, look, I’ll get out, I swear! I’ll never return to Hogwarts! You’ll never have to see me again, just _please_ don’t tell anyone else.”

Remus’s fear was turning into desperation. He didn’t want to leave Hogwarts! Not now, when he had just begun to like it.

“What?” demanded Sirius, confused.

Remus broke free from their grip and started throwing things into his battered trunk.

“What in the name of Merlin are you doing?” said James.

“Packing,” said Remus with an edge of bitterness. “I’ll let you curse me if you want, just please don’t tell!”

He suddenly started crying. He had thought he had made friends. He had thought he would fit in. But now James and Sirius were going to tell everyone. Remus loved having friends. He didn’t want to give it up so soon. But who would want to stay friends with a monster like him?

“Just remember,” he sniffled. “Werewolf blood is dangerous to normal people.”

Sirius’s eyes widened like Kreacher’s when he was being reprimanded by Walburga. Remus had been taught that he was abnormal. A monster, a freak. He had been told that he had to flee from everywhere, because no one would ever want a beast like him. He had warned them that his own _blood_ was dangerous to others. He didn’t care about being hurt. Remus thought he deserved it.

Sirius tried to comfort his friend by putting a hand on his sobbing friend’s shoulder, but Remus flinched violently and fell on James’s bed. Sirius was forcibly reminded of a scared Regulus crying after Bellatrix had cursed him. Feeling a surge of pity for Remus, he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, just as he would have done for Regulus. 

Remus flinched again, but James, joining his friends, started running a hand through his sandy hair, awkwardly muttering reassurances.

“Remy,” began Sirius softly. “We could never hate you. You’re not leaving Hogwarts.”

James nodded. “We’ll keep your secret, mate.” He paused. “Did you really think we were going to hurt you?”

Remus blushed and bowed his head slightly. Sirius tightened his grip.

“Why would you want me to stay?” he asked, tears still running down his face. “I’m a monster. I-I really don’t think you understand.”

“You’re about as much as a monster as we are,” snapped James. Then his expression softened. “You’re not a beast, Remus. You’re not dark or terrifying. You’re victim just like anyone else.”

“I could bite you one day! It’s not something fun or easy! You’d be cursed for life!”

“It’s a chance I’d take,” said Sirius casually. “Besides, you’re not dangerous the entire year, just once a month. For a single night.”

James nodded in agreement. “We’ll find a way, Remus. We won’t leave you on your own.”

Remus smiled softly and looked gratefully at both of them. He leaned against Sirius, exhaustion taking over.

For the first time, Remus felt truly happy.

_ December _

Grimmauld Place was as dull as Sirius remembered it. Nevertheless, he ventured further into the house, breathing heavily. He wasn’t ready to face his parents just yet. Thankfully, Regulus was the first to greet him.

“I missed you, Siri!” he said, throwing himself at Sirius.

Sirius smiled and hugged his brother back. Maybe being back wasn’t so bad after all. But he quickly pushed his brother off.

“If mother sees you hugging me, you’ll be in lots of trouble, Reg. I’m a blood traitor now.”

Regulus reluctantly pulled away. He didn’t care if Sirius was a blood traitor. He was his brother and Regulus loved him.

That night, dinner went less than smoothly. Walburga screeched and threw plates and goblets at her eldest son. Orion tried to keep quiet through the ordeal, but he, too, eventually pulled out his wand, pointing it at Sirius. Alphard dived in front of his nephew in the last moment, shielding him from the worst curses.

He grabbed Sirius by the shoulder, staring at him intently. “Go upstairs, boy, fast! Orion is not above sending his own son to St Mungo’s.”

Sirius nodded, eyes wide. He grabbed Regulus by the forearm and ran upstairs to his room. Their cousins were already there. Unbeknownst to Regulus and Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa had pulled Sirius aside to ‘talk.’

“Andy?” said Regulus, staring at her as she worked on her Ancient Runes project.

Andromeda hummed to show she was listening.

“I-Is it wrong that I don’t hate Sirius?” whispered Regulus. “I know he’s a b-blood traitor, but I don’t feel any different.”

Andromeda reluctantly put down her quill and turned to face her youngest cousin. “No,” she said clearly. “You’re not supposed to feel the difference, Regulus. Family is family. Sirius hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Regulus looked confused. “But mother said –,”

“Mother isn’t always right,” said Andromeda softly. “Sometimes, Reggie, it’s alright to disobey her.”

“Oh,” said Regulus simply. “Is Siri going to be alright?”

“I’m sure he is,” lied Andromeda.

She hated lying to Regulus, but he was far too young to know what happened to those who brought shame to the Black family.

Meanwhile, in the neighbouring room, Bellatrix was towering over her cousin.  “My dear little blood traitor,” she cooed. “Do you know what happens to _naughty_ little boys like you?”

Sirius backed away. “Leave me alone,” he said, his voice trembling slightly.

“Aww,” said Bellatrix. “Is the little blood traitor scared of Bella?”

Narcissa, too, was beginning to feel uncomfortable. “Bella, why don’t we let Aunt Walburga deal with him?”

“I think I’ll do just as well,” said Bellatrix. She pointed her wand between his eyes. “Crucio,” she said clearly, as simply as if it was a Levitation Charm.

Sirius collapsed, screaming. He felt like every part of his body was being torn off, burnt, stabbed and clawed at once. He writhed on the floor, helpless and desperate. Merlin, he wanted it to _end_.

“Bella, stop it! You’re going to kill him!” yelled Narcissa.

Bellatrix stopped the curse, but the pain didn’t end. Sirius gasped slightly, trying not to lose consciousness. He didn’t have the strength to stand or even roll over. He could faintly hear Bellatrix making her exit.

Narcissa knelt down next to him. Sirius couldn’t find the power to flinch away from her. But Narcissa only picked him up, staggering under his weight. Sirius groaned in agony.

Narcissa hushed him. “I’m taking you to Andy. She’ll know what to do.”

As soon as Andromeda saw him, she gasped. “Get out, both of you!” she ordered.

Neither Regulus, nor Narcissa made any move to leave.

“OUT!” yelled Andromeda.

Reluctantly, they left, but Andromeda was sure their ears were pressed to the door. She cast a silencing charm around Sirius. Pulling out salves and potions, she quickly got to work.

Finally, he seemed to wake. “A-Andy?” he croaked.

“Rest,” she said immediately, not unkindly. “You need it. Then you can tell me what happened.”

Sirius obeyed, closing his eyes. He would twitch and jerk every so often, but looked fine other than that.

Andromeda knew he would be fine. Sirius was a fighter. He always got through tough situations. Together, they would be alright. All they needed was each other.

_ January _

Bellatrix looked at her youngest cousin. How truly innocent he was, she thought. It was almost sickening.

“Regulus,” she said sharply, gaining his undivided attention.              

He looked up. “Yes, Bella?”

“What do we call people like your brother?” she demanded, testing his loyalties.

“Blood traitors,” answered Regulus monotonously, knowing that was what Bellatrix wanted to hear.

“And what are blood traitors?”

Her violet eyes were trained solely on him. Regulus felt extremely uncomfortable under her gaze, but he tried not to show it.

“They’re uh... I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know.”

Bellatrix rose from her armchair abruptly, her black Victorian dress swaying. Regulus had slunk to the floor, cowering. Bellatrix pulled out her wand and pointed it at him, digging her triangular boot in his ribcage, her eyes flashing. She leaned forward, her wand touching his neck.

“You deserve to be punished,” she said. “You _do_ know that.”

Regulus looked down in shame. “I’m sorry, Bella.”

She pulled him up by his collar. “I am giving you one more chance to answer. _What are blood traitors_?” she said, stressing every word.

“Uh... Filthy,” said Regulus, masking his uncertainty. “Dishonourable, insignificant, useless,” he continued, a tremor in his voice.

Bellatrix looked pleased. “You’re a good boy,” she praised. “You know where your loyalties lie.”

Regulus was shocked by her abrupt mood change, but hid it well. It was not wise to anger Bellatrix Black.

“Come here,” ordered Bellatrix.

She was tall and intimidating and looked abnormally large next to her slight ten-year-old cousin. She forced him on her lap, ignoring his whimpering.

“Stop moving, you foolish boy!” she growled.

Regulus, once again frightened by her change in behaviour, stayed completely still and silent. Bellatrix conjured a marker and grabbed Regulus’s arm. She started drawing a skull first, then a snake protruding from its mouth.

“I trust you know what this is,” she said.

“The Dark Lord’s mark,” replied Regulus quietly.

“Speak up,” she said. “Are you a proper pure-blood or not?”

Regulus averted his eyes, but Bellatrix kept talking.

“This is something to strive for, Regulus. This is something you want, something you need. It is the only path to purity.”

Regulus listened intently.

“Can you imagine a world run by filthy _Muggles_?” she said. “It would be an absolute disaster. They’re inferior to us, Regulus. Their brains work in strange ways. Muggles are weak and unintelligent.”

“That’s why _we’re_ the ones that have to rule _them_ ,” said Regulus slowly.

He shook his head slightly. This was wrong. Sirius always told him the opposite – that Muggles were just as good as wizards and that they shouldn’t be treated badly or unfairly.

Bellatrix hummed. “My smart little boy,” she said, carding her now free hand through his hair.

Regulus looked down at his washable, albeit well-drawn Dark Mark. Maybe Bellatrix was right. After all, she had already taken the Mark. She knew what she was talking about.

“But Sirius says killing people is very wrong,” said the small boy, confused.

Bellatrix scowled, but made no move to push Regulus off her lap. She did, however, grab his hair, almost pulling on it. “What does Sirius know? Has he ever killed anyone?”

Regulus shook his head.

“Then how would he know it’s wrong?”

Regulus could not find the courage to argue with his cousin’s flawed logic.

Later that day, the four cousins gathered in the dining room for the annual Christmas family dinner (Narcissa had gone out with Lucius Malfoy). Sirius looked much better than he had a week ago.

“Regulus,” said Andromeda suddenly. “What’s that on your arm?”

Regulus proudly displayed his new Dark Mark, deciding it was best to believe his cousin. After all, Sirius was a blood traitor now, right? “Bella drew it! She said it was something to strive for.”

Andromeda clenched her fists and took deep, calming breaths.

“Sirius,” she said heavily. “Go upstairs with Regulus and make sure the mark disappears entirely. Bellatrix, may I have a word with you?”

After the two boys had gone, Andromeda started on Bellatrix.

She marched up to her older sister and slapped her. Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, but before she could hit Andromeda back, the younger girl was already ranting.

“How could you?!” she yelled. “You’re brainwashing a small boy, Bellatrix! You’re turning him into a mindless killer, sending him to an early grave!”

“I’m showing him what’s right! Honestly, Andromeda, I thought you had more sense than that.”

“Sense!” cried Andromeda. “This is absolute nonsense, Bellatrix! Blood purity! What about it? The blood that flows through us is the same as any other. I will not believe, not even for a second, that we are superior to Muggles.”

“That’s because you’re a filthy traitor,” spat Bellatrix. “You are no sister of mine.”

The words stung, but Andromeda felt better after speaking against her sister. Now she was a blood traitor and Bellatrix was the perfect heiress. And that’s what set them apart.

Andromeda vowed to never turn into her sister.

_ February _

“Come on, Sirius, we’re not going to get caught,” said James. “It’s worth it!”

Sirius crossed his arms. “James, I don’t care if we’re going to get caught or not. I am not going with you to Potter Manor.”

“Why not?” whined James. “Come on, mate, just this Saturday.”

Sirius sighed. “Fine,” he mumbled. “But I’m Flooing straight back to the common room when we get there. I’m not going to bother your family.”

“You’re an idiot, Sirius,” said James. “Now come with me.”

James took Sirius through the Floo straight into the Potters’ drawing room.

“James?” came a male voice. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, hey mum, dad!” said James cheerfully. “I brought Sirius as well.” He paused, smirking slightly. “He was too shy to want to come.”

Sirius scowled darkly at James. Mr and Mrs Potter smiled slightly.

“James, I’d rather you not leave Hogwarts to come here,” said Mrs Potter, “even if it is in your leisure time.”

Then she turned to Sirius, who backed away slightly, not knowing what to expect. Mrs Potter, being a Black by birth, had high cheekbones, black hair and grey eyes. Mr Potter, on the other hand, had hazel eyes, an oval-shaped face and an air of cheerfulness around him.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Sirius. James has told us a lot about you.”

Sirius, remembering his pure- blood manners, bowed slightly and returned the pleasantry. Mr Potter looked torn between amusement and horror.

“There is no need for such formalities, Sirius,” he said. “Come inside, both of you.”

Sirius found it easier to talk to Mr Potter. He was a nice man, much mellower than the ‘respectable’ pureblood lords. Sirius didn’t know where he stood with Mrs Potter – she was his relative and would probably hate him for shaming her family, even if she was married to a blood traitor. Even his own cousin did...

Thankfully, none of the Potters seemed to notice his discomfort.

“How has Hogwarts been?” asked Mrs Potter.

James grinned. “Great! But McGonagall really doesn’t like us and it’s really not fair! But there’s this brilliant girl in our year, Lily Evans, she –,” James rambled, but his mother interrupted him.

Sirius winced, expecting a comment like “I haven’t heard of a pureblood named Evans,” but she only laughed.

“Slow down, dear,” she said.

As time passed, Sirius found himself relaxing around the Potters. Mrs Potter winked at him and congratulated him on being the first Black in Gryffindor.

“I’m impressed, Sirius,” she said. “But I’m not surprised.”

Then she sobered. “How did they react to it?” she asked softly.

Sirius swallowed it, looking for a way out. He wiped his sweating hand on his uniform trousers, not meeting her eyes.

“Uh... Y-You know how pureblood families are,” he said quietly, very unlike himself.

She smiled sympathetically and put her arm around him. Sirius tried not to jerk back. He always put on a smile for Hogwarts, but he couldn’t help the fear that would occasionally consume him. Not that it stopped him from having a good time at Hogwarts – it was the best thing that had happened to him.

“I know, dear,” said Mrs Potter. “I went through the same when I announced my engagement to Charlus.

Sirius, not knowing why, leaned against her, relaxing under her touch. James was sending him funny looks, while Mr Potter chose to lighten the mood by changing the subject.

“Say, boys, did you hear about the Quidditch month last week?”

Mrs Potter sighed. “And know you know where James gets his obsession from,” she said.

Sirius laughed, his mood lighter. “James knows Quidditch through the Ages inside and out. I swear, Madam Pince is sick of seeing him reading that thing.”

“You should be spending more time on real books,” Mrs Potter scolded her son lightly.

And that’s how the evening went, until Mr Potter helped them back to Hogwarts through the Floo. Mrs Potter hugged her son and then Sirius, with the promise that she’d try to have him over for the Easter holidays.

Sirius grinned, already at ease with the couple. Suddenly, the Blacks didn’t seem quite so frightening. Not when he had people to care for him.

_ March _

James and Sirius were in McGonagall’s office, standing at her desk.

“Explain yourselves,” she said icily. “Mr Snape is currently in the Hospital Wing due to _your_ violent behaviour.”

“Professor, he insulted Remus!” James nearly yelled.

“And that is your excuse for cursing him?” demanded McGonagall.

“Yes!” said Sirius hotly. “Who does he think he is?!” 

“Silence, Black!” commanded McGonagall.

“Potter, you cannot curse someone for insulting your pride. Twenty points off each of you. It is late enough already. Your detention is to clean the cupboards in the Transfiguration classroom. Get started.”

Grumbling, the boys started on their task. Roughly two hours later, a sound of great commotion was heard from outside. The window to the east faced the Whomping Willow, while the one to the north faced the Quidditch Pitch.

Sirius and James jumped up to look out the window. Curses were flying, but he couldn’t see their faces. One of the forms fell down and didn’t move. Sirius’s jaw dropped.

“PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!” yelled James.

McGonagall went rushing in. “What is it, Potter? Are you injured?”

“Professor, look!” he cried, pointing to the window.

McGonagall breathed out a sigh. “Do not move, or you’ll find yourselves in a month’s worth of detentions.”

She quickly left classroom, leaving the boys alone. Sirius peered at the window.

“Who d’you think they are?” he asked.

James shrugged. “We’ll find out, I’m sure. McGonagall is going to _kill_ them.”

As if on cue, McGonagall appeared with three older students – two sixth years and one seventh – Bellatrix and Andromeda Black and Edward Tonks.

Sirius remained impassive, but James stared open-mouthed at them. “Y-You’re –,”

Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth. “Shut it, idiot!” he hissed.

“You!” Bellatrix started on her cousin. “This is all your fault!”

Sirius clenched his fists. “I didn’t do anything!” he yelled. “It’s your own fault you’re stupid enough to duel outside in plain view of everyone!”

Andromeda quickly stepped in front of her cousin, not having forgotten what had happened during Christmas.

“Ms Black,” said McGonagall stiffly. “Your cousin has been serving detention for the past two hours. He is in no way to blame for your disregard for Hogwarts rules. Black, Potter, go. And if this happens again, the consequences will be most severe.”

James and Sirius ran out of the classroom, pleased with their detention coming to an end. Sirius pressed his ear to the wall. James quickly joined him, not wanting to miss out.

“Professor,” said Tonks politely. “This wasn’t Andromeda’s fault, really. She and I were sitting by the Black Lake when Bellatrix assaulted her.”

“He lies!” shrieked Bellatrix, making the two boys wince. “He’s corrupting my sister! He’s turning her into a... a filthy, lowlife blood traitor!”

“You are not doing yourself a favour, Bellatrix!” Andromeda’s voice rang.

“QUIET! JUST WAIT TILL MOTHER AND FATHER HEAR ABOUT THIS! THEY’LL HAVE YOU DISOWNED FOR SEEING THAT MUDBLOOD FASTER THAN BLINKING!”

McGonagall silenced them. “Ms Black,” she said, her voice shaking with anger. “I do not wish to ever hear you use such foul language. As there is no ministry act forbidding the association of pure-bloods with Muggleborns, your sister has every right to see Mr Tonks. If this upsets your parents, they will have to see Professor Slughorn about it. Ten points off Slytherin for vile language, fifteen points off for blatant discrimination and five points off for unsupervised and unapproved of duelling.”

Bellatrix muttered something unintelligible.

“You may go,” said McGonagall.

James and Sirius dived out of sight before the three older students saw them.

“Mate, your cousin’s nuts,” said James, shaking his head.

“I know,” said Sirius distastefully.

And he felt shame. Because James’s family was caring and normal, while his was unhappy and violent. But James didn’t seem to mind. He only smiled at his friend and led the way to the common room.

“It’s alright, mate. You have us now,” he said cheerfully.

Sirius smiled thankfully, but the shame wouldn’t go away. It never would. Uncle Alphard said it had never faded or even lessened in the fifty years he had lived.

Sirius hated his family more than ever.

_ April _

“Andy!” called Ted excitedly.

He greeted her, grinning from ear to ear.  “Andy, you’re coming home with me for Easter,” he said excitedly. “My mum and dad don’t mind at all – they said they really want to meet you.”

Andromeda smiled brightly, but it didn’t last long. “Ted – how am I to tell my family that I’m visiting a _Muggleborn_? They’d hang us and set our dead bodies on fire, for Merlin’s sake!”

Ted bit his lip. “Tell them you’re going to a foreign pure-blood friend’s place.”

Andromeda shook her head. “It’s not a bad idea, but...” she sighed. “Bellatrix would never believe me after she saw us last month.”

Then her eyes lit up. “I’m going to tell her I’ve chosen to redeem myself by spending Easter with a rich pure-blood family from Wales. She can be really thick sometimes; I’m sure she’ll buy it.”

“I hope so,” muttered Ted.

Andromeda told her sister the well-thought out lie that evening. Bellatrix looked suspicious at first, but she accepted the excuse for missing the family gathering with a huff and a mutter of “You’d better not disappoint us, Andromeda.”

Andromeda found Sirius next.

“Wait – why are you looking for _him_?” asked Ted.

Andromeda bit her lip. “I have to tell him, Ted. He said the Potters were trying to have him over for Easter, but it may not work.”

Ted frowned. Things couldn’t be that bad for Sirius, could they?

“Sirius!” called Andromeda once they had reached the empty Quidditch pitch.

He was with James and Remus, taking turns riding on a school broom Madam Hooch had lent them. Sirius turned around, grinning when he saw who it was.

 Andromeda let her smile drop and looked at him seriously. “Siri, I have something important to tell you,” she said solemnly.

She knelt down in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders. He was frozen and clammy. Andromeda frowned.

“Sirius, you’re freezing,” she said, a reprimanding tone in her voice.

“It’s a bit cool out here,” said Sirius. He had neither the heart, nor the courage to tell Andromeda that Bellatrix had been seeking him out to practise her Cruciatus on him the past ten days – since the beginning of April. Narcissa had always taken him to rest, playing the part of the concerned cousin.

“Siri,” said Andromeda again. “I want to tell you that I will not be home for the Easter holidays; I’m going to be with Ted. If, for some reason, you go to Grimmauld Place rather than Potter Manor, Uncle Alphard and Uncle Ignatius will look after you.”

Ignatius was a bit softer than the rest of the family, mainly due to being born a Prewett.

Sirius nodded slightly, turning his accusing eyes to Ted for a brief moment. “Alright, Andy. Uh... Have fun, I guess,” he said awkwardly.

Andromeda smiled and pulled him into a hug, frowning slightly as he stiffened.

Thankfully, the five days that remained until the Easter holidays went as smoothly as they possibly could for Sirius.

Mrs had managed to convince his parents that he could spend Easter at Potter Manor. Sirius couldn’t stand the betrayed look Regulus had sent him, but he didn’t say anything.  

Unfortunately, Easter came and went, and the two boys returned to Hogwarts once again. McGonagall kept shooting Sirius subtle glances. She often kept him after classes, asking him if he was feeling well and if he needed any help with his family.

Sirius had always grinned at her and told her that everything was going better than expected. And that was the truth, for Sirius had never expected to find friends like James and Remus.

He was truly lucky.

_ May _

Bellatrix held the small bundle in her arms. Rodolphus, her husband, was looking at it with something akin to distaste. His black clothes were in stark contrast with the white hospital walls.

“It better be a good heir. I will not allow the noble line of Lestrange to end with my foolish oaf of a brother.”

Bellatrix felt her heart constrict. She would have lashed out at him, had it not been for the boy in her arms. This was her little boy, her son, her bundle of joy. It was her reason for living. She felt a strange protectiveness over it, one she had only felt over her sisters. Until Andromeda betrayed her...

How could Rodolphus refer to their little child as merely an _heir_?

“His name shall be Cepheus,” said Bellatrix stonily.

Rodolphus remained impassive. “Very well,” he said, adopting a similar tone. “Tell that to the Healers. I am sure it concerns them more than it does me.”

Bellatrix’s hold tightened on her new-born son. She wanted to curse Rodolphus more than any time in the past.

“Return to your manor,” she said. “My relatives will be here shortly.”

Rodolphus narrowed his eyes, clearly displeased with the order. “I am sure your parents will be very proud to hear that their eldest daughter sired a boy before finishing Hogwarts. Not to mention, you hid it from them for nine months, placing a glamour charm around yourself. Very proud, indeed.”

Bellatrix glared heatedly at him. She would not start an argument now, not with Cepheus looking up at her with those wide grey eyes.

“The Healers demanded I rest,” she said through gritted teeth.

Rodolphus narrowed his eyes again and disappeared with a crack of his wand. Bellatrix leaned back with a relieved sigh. She smiled at Cepheus and kissed his forehead. Countless thoughts ran through her head.

What if her parents didn’t accept the baby? What if someone tried to attack it? What would she do with it while she was at Hogwarts? It wasn’t fair – she hadn’t wanted the baby – Rodolphus had forced her.

“Bellatrix,” came Cygnus’s baritone voice.

“Father,” said Bellatrix, raising her eyes to meet his.

Druella stood by his side, eyeing the boy. “It is not fit for a highborn lady to sire a child before finishing her basic education,” she said finally.

“Mother –,” protested Bellatrix.

“Silence!” commanded Cygnus.

“I will not give him up,” said Bellatrix. “Never.”

“I was not going to ask you to do so,” said Druella. “You will give him to us until the fourteenth of June. Unless you get an apprenticeship, you will take the boy and go wherever the Dark Lord wills you to. I will not have you disregarding your duties to your master for a stupid child.”

“He’s not stupid,” hissed Bellatrix. “He will be of use to the Dark Lord in years’ time.”

“He’d better,” said Cygnus.  “Come, Druella, let us go back to the manor. Bellatrix, you will give us the boy when you are let out of the hospital and return to Hogwarts. No one will know about your... mishap. Understood?”

“Yes, father,” said Bellatrix quietly. “I will turn seventeen in two days. I am not quite so young any more. I can take care of the child.”

“You will finish your studies and aid the Dark Lord. If he allows you to keep the boy, then –,”

“His name is Cepheus,” snapped Bellatrix.

“We are leaving,” said Druella, Disapparating with her husband.

Bellatrix was left alone once more. But she didn’t care. She wanted her son to be safe. She wanted her sister back. She wanted Sirius to see the right way.

Bellatrix never thought she’d tire of fighting, but it seemed like her life and sanity were rapidly escaping her. And her carefreeness was coming to an end.

_ June _

“HOW DARE YOU?!” screamed Druella. “I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO SNEAK OUT TO MEET MUDBLOODS!”

“Shut up!” cried Sirius. “Leave her alone!”

Druella’s reddening face turned to him. “You dare speak to me like this, _blood traitor_?”

“Stay out of this, Sirius,” said Andromeda warningly.

She turned to her mother. “I can see whoever I want to, mother. I love Ted and you cannot stop me from seeing him.”

Druella gasped. “You are no daughter of mine,” she said.

Walburga pulled out her wand gleefully; glad to finally get the chance to blast someone off the tapestry.

“Do not make me choose between you and Ted, mother,” pleaded Andromeda. “I love you, but I cannot leave him. Why can you not accept him?”

Alphard quickly grabbed Sirius and Regulus and dragged them upstairs. Septimus pulled Narcissa out of harm’s way. Bellatrix was in a spare room with her son. She would leave the following week.

“I will never accept scum like him, not in my house,” said Druella. “He is a lowlife whose family has stolen our noble gift of magic.”

“The only way to steal magic is with magic, Druella,” said Alphard coolly, having returned to the drawing room. “Sorcery is a gift to be enjoyed by everyone, not just those of the old families. I will support Andromeda if Mr Tonks ever wishes to court her.”

“MY DAUGHTER WILL NOT BE COURTED BY A MUDBLOOD!” screamed Druella. “SHE IS A DAUGHTER OF THE NOBLE AND –,”

“Most Ancient House of Black,” said Alphard irritably. “We got it. And frankly, I do not care. Andromeda will have my blessing, shall she ever decide to marry this man.”

Andromeda turned to him, astounded by his loyalty. Alphard had always been her favourite – he had always joked with her and encouraged her to think for herself. He had told her stories of his uncle Marius the Squib and teach her the meaning of justice and equality. But this was different. He was risking his reputation and more importantly, his very life. He was risking disownment.

Meanwhile, Walburga was bursting with joy. She’d get to blast not one, but _two_ people off the tapestry! And maybe Sirius would go, too... Then only the purest of the purebloods would remain in the family, just the way it was supposed to be.

“You are a traitor, Alphard,” said Druella icily. “A filthy traitor and nothing more.”

Alphard smiled ruefully. “Perhaps I am,” he said. “But you are a cold-hearted monster. Better a traitor than someone keeping my own child from happiness.”

Druella made to attack him, but Alphard sidestepped. “Go upstairs, Andromeda,” he said. “Go find your cousins. I will take care of this.”

“Uncle,” she said quietly. “I—I –,”

“Go,” said Alphard again.

He smiled reassuringly at her. She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded.

Andromeda ran up the stairs. She opened Regulus’s bedroom door to find him and Sirius arguing heatedly. Andromeda raised an eyebrow. Obviously, it was not a very peaceful day for the Blacks.

“What’s going on here?” she said sharply.

Both boys turned to look at her. Sirius launched himself at her. Regulus stood in the shadows, looking somewhat upset. Andromeda frowned slightly.

“Siri, love, can I speak to your brother for a moment? We’ll be back in a couple of moments.”

Sirius looked at her suspiciously, but eventually nodded. Andromeda grabbed Regulus’s arm and led him to the neighbouring room.

“What’s wrong, Reggie?” she asked gently, shutting the door.

Regulus shrugged, brushing his fringe out of his hair. “Why would you care?” he mumbled.

Andromeda raised an eyebrow. “Why would you think I don’t?”

“Because you love Sirius more... and you’re still mad at me for what Bella did in January...”

The reply was said softly, uncertainly, making Andromeda’s heart constrict.

She wrapped her arms around her cousin’s waist and pulled him close. Even as she was sitting, they were about the same height.

“What Bellatrix did was not your fault, Reggie,” she said gently. “I was angry at her, not you. And I most definitely do not think any less of you than I do of Sirius.”

“But –,” Regulus furrowed his eyebrows, a confused look on his face.

Andromeda sighed. “Reggie, you know that your parents were upset that Sirius was  a Gryffindor, right?”

He nodded.

“Siri felt very sad, dear. He didn’t have anyone to talk to. He needed help, Reggie.”

“Oh,” was the only response. “You’re not going to be disowned, are you?”

Andromeda swallowed. “Not yet, my boy. Uncle Alphard is taking care of us now. But I’ll have to go soon. I can’t let this go on. But I promise I’ll always visit you and I’ll still love you very much.”

Regulus smiled and leaned into her.

Andromeda, too, smiled. She knew she’d leave soon, but she’d still have her family. And if Regulus was left to the mercy of Walburga Black, she knew Alphard would take care of him, like he took care of her.

_ July _

“Aren’t you excited, Regulus?” asked Walburga. “Soon, you’re going to become a little Slytherin. I know you are. You could never disappoint us like your brother did.”

Andromeda cringed. She had heard those words nearly a year ago and the year had not been pleasant. Regulus was too obedient to rebel against the pureblood supremacy that ruled Magical Britain, but she and Sirius were still, and always would be, outcasts.

An owl landing on the kitchen table brought Andromeda’s musings to an end. Druella untied the letter from its leg and opened the envelope. Everyone was trying to get a glimpse of what was written, but Druella hid it from view. Septimus was too quick for her.

“Bellatrix,” he mouthed to Alphard.

Andromeda’s eyes widened. Bellatrix had left a month ago and had not sent any letters since.

Druella gasped and clutched the letter to her chest.  

“What is it?” asked Narcissa.

“Cepheus,” said Druella. “He – he was found dead in Lestrange Manor today. Bellatrix suspects Rabastan.”

Narcissa, too, gasped. “Oh, Bella,” she wailed.

Cygnus frowned. “Rabastan couldn’t have done it.”

Andromeda nearly choked on her watered wine at her father’s carelessness for his grandson.

“That’s your grandson!” exclaimed Sirius. “I mean – I don’t like Bellatrix, either, but the boy...” he faltered.

Alphard patted him on the shoulder.

“Shut up, _blood traitor_ ,” hissed Walburga.

She stroked her wand threateningly. “Or there will be consequences.”

Sirius shuddered. He knew very well what the consequences would be. And if he didn’t take the curses silently, they only got worse. Each day that went by, he found himself missing James and his parents more and more.

 Andromeda sighed. Sirius’s short life was already hell. Regulus was being brainwashed. Bellatrix’s son was dead. Andromeda was going to be disowned soon.

But Regulus would be going to Hogwarts. And she would meet Ted again. It seemed like everything was repeating itself. But that, she realised, was life. And until she was ready to go on, life would keep repeating itself over and over.

That was the circle of life.


End file.
